To sum up, today has been such a painful day for me. Why. Well I didn't expect my Instagram to be deleted. It's not done by me but however it was done by someone else. Probably it's hard to explain but this is where I can jot my thoughts down. 

It all happened when my bestfriend called me while I was outside. She claimed that she found out her husband has an Instagram account(which was created longed ago and she doesn't know about it). Well I've always mind my own business and not being a busy body, so quarter end last year, her husband shared to me about him creating an Instagram and informed me not to tell his wife about it. I was actually sort of confused and didn't know whether should I tell or should I not tell but in the end I decided to just ignore. Not knowing that things went haywire just now. Her sister in law told her about her husband having an Instagram account. 

Here's where the interesting part begins, talks after talks she then seeked me for help and wonder what I could do for her because she wanted to view her husband's account. And as a result, I gave access to my account to her via the phone call not knowing that her husband was at her presence. I overheard voices that sounds like her husband but again when I asked her, she said it's her brother. Sadly, it's not. 

Half and hour after she's done, that's when I tried login into my account and found out I couldn't access them anymore. The feeling was unexplainable. I couldn't believe that my own bestfriend, for 7 years would do this to me. After few interrogation with her, she then said it's her husband who did it. Her husband mistook and thought I'm the one who told her wife whereby actually it's not. It's their sister in law, his husband misheard it. Fucking pissed off. I couldn't recover my Instagram. And what's more, those pictures and memorable videos are gone. His doing this at my own cost?! WTF. Couldn't he settle this between his wife atleast. How can I not be pissed. I was feeling sad and raged at the same time. Things has already been done and there's no way that I could turn back. 

It took me few hours to decide on creating a new account after all. It wasn't that easy as my old account contains photographic memories. As for now, I would like to just say million thanks to my dear lovely boyfriend and my friends who tried to cheer me up. I know it's just an Instagram account but it's because of the pictures that holds tons of memories. You can never turn back to the date and time again to post the picture. Yes you can repost but back to the date and time where you posted? Impossible. That's why I was feeling so sad. My dear boyfriend had to sacrifice his time just to calm me down. It took me few hours to chill and let it slide though. I really appreciate how much he's willing to make time for me. He was there all along with me throughout the phone call. Honestly I was terribly sad over this. Thanks to his words of wisdom, I manage to get over it and just be optimistic. I understand that there's nothing else I can do but I only have to look on the bright side this time. Just feeling terribly sad because that account holds a beautiful memories such as food that was made by my mum, those time spent with boyfriend, and videos with family and all. These actually are really important to me and that's the main reason why I was sad. 

This may be my first time being so apologetic here but truly I feel bad for making my dear boyfriend feel disappointed because of what I told him over the phone call. I didn't expect that my words would bring pain to him. As much as I wouldn't want to mention about my past again, I really had to because it's about time I have to be straight to him and I'm glad that I did. It's because of there are some pictures of food taken in the past while I was with my ex(which I didn't delete them because I feel it's precious as it was a photograph of food and it's like we're dining) and certain pictures inside that account somehow reminds me of my ex cause he took it eventhough it was my face only. After all this that has happened, I believe things happens for a reason and I guess the reason for this, it's time for me to open a new book and really leave my past. It sounds abit nostalgic but that's what I'm thinking. I know I've made my boyfriend feel so awful after what I've told him but atleast I'm being honest much with him and there's nothing else I'm hiding. With all these, I conclude there's nothing sentimental that resembles about my past anymore. I'm done with it and really feel thankful to have such an understanding boyfriend. To my dear boyfriend, I'm really sorry for making you feel upset but trust me, since the day when I say I love you, I really mean it. It's difficult to express but I do really love you and I'm truly sorry for what has happened eventhough it doesn't begin from me. I take it as the things that happened has a reason behind it. And the reason is, to really move on and get over with my past. I do really love you very much boyfriend.